Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Cloned: The multi-vitamin, multi-blog, multi-grain, multi-twenty-something post

I was going to blog something about Volkswagens or more about my recent sobriety induced insomnia, but I know how that gets boring. So today I’ve organized a group effort – to one up some lame totally PC story about a [skinny twenty-something] with a gym problem. Best of all, you have the option of reading the truth of what happened at the gym, or the not so truth (below). It works out in the end because I’ve been looking for a good excuse to post this picture. Fish heads, fish heads, floppy floppy fish heads.


Our hero goes to the gym a lot, he has to. On the days Shorty doesn’t go he breaks out in a full body rash, followed by mild constipation and a sever drug induced euphoria brought on by the medication he takes to help get rid of the pre-mentioned rash (wow, he’s going to kill me when he reads this). At any rate, he has his routine down path. It’s like mad organized and shit by which day of the week it is. You could say, Shorty knows his way around the gym.

Enter [skinny twenty-something] a sweaty (from playing badminton), fish like creature – new to the gym and uneducated in proper gym etiquette. Like his fishy ancestors [skinny twenty-something] learns best by example. Basically as Shorty did [skinny twenty-something] followed, minus the weight and +bad form, ++flailing limbs, +++sweaty residue on the equipment. In fact [skinny twenty-something] idealized our hero so much that he followed him around the gym, repeating each exercise just as he’d observed it done previously; like white on rice, like dead on Elvis, like a ho in a trailer park, like shit on stink… excreta ( +++sweaty residue). Think wet floppy fish heads, on exercise equipment (gross, huh?).

In observing his recent follower (hommie couldn't help but notice he was being followed) he decided to make it harder to follow him. He’d adjust the equipment to its hardest setting and maxed out on weight to send his admirer into a world of struggle and unwillingness to return to the gym, any gym, ever again.

When that didn’t work, our hero just stood by and watched [skinny twenty-something] flap about. Moments later Grimmis and the Fry Guys joined Shorty on their day off from chasing the Hamburgler around the bush, to point and laugh as [skinny twenty-something] choked himself under a barbell.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

I Saw That Show Yesterday

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, which in it self isn’t normally a bad thing, but lately I think it might be more bad than okay. What I mean to say is that all this recent thinking is different from my normal thinking. I think it’s been keeping me awake at night, but it’s hard to say for sure because the dreams I have now seem so real, but then they are dreams, so maybe I am sleeping, but it doesn’t feel like it, because, you know, like I said it seems too real, the people in the dreams that is, they’re the ones that seem real. That and I have an abnormally conscious ability to make decisions in these dreams where never before did I have any effect towards my own dream-plot-development.

Dreams are weird, I never used to have them, or if I did I don’t remember having them. The ones I do remember having had all already happened, like “oh I saw a TV show yesterday.” These new dreams are more like “I’m watching this TV show right now.” Old dreams didn’t always have me in them and if they did I always saw myself romping around as a deaf-mute, third person. New dreams always star Raven, and most times it’s me (first person) with the dialog/monolog – and the people are cheering!

Consequently this recent thinking is way less productive in my normal routine. At work I find my self making sketches and imaging what (this one happened this morning) I would look like with no hair. Yesterday I spent twenty minutes (it had to of been at least that long) yelling in my head to my self about how much I hate Michigan Lefts. Fucking Michigan Lefts, man. You know there’s a state published website dedicated to the history and functionality of said turning methodology. And sure, okay, fine, traffic probably flows better now… according to the web site it does. Who ever came up with that shit … according to the website it was a group effort Joseph Hobrla, and Joseph Marlow, cerca 1960 – anyway, what were they thinking! A u-turn to make a left, right lane to make a left, only on some intersections, others you can still make a traditional left, some times left lane, sometime you can even get turned around enough to where you don’t remember making a u-turn but you know you must have because you’re traveling southbound (or are you?), it’s just confusing. The signage is awesome though, Dan would have a field day taking pictures of this shit.

Last night I was a life guard on a beach, hard core bay watch styles, but instead of bouncing boobs and David Hasselhoff, there I was talking to Francisco about video games (“Did you hear they’re making a new Zelda game?” “Yes, I think so, it’s got zombies in it now.” “That’s right.”), while we watched the creepy possessed girl from The Exorcist drowning in the ocean (arms flailing about, her nappy black hair getting in her face, screaming (but off in the distance screaming, not the kind that’s concerning)). After that, I dreamed about Japanese tourists ("one more picture, please") and naked girls ("I'd eat soup off of that"). I dont feel well rested at all, but it was awesome.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

..ummm, thanks Dan

Dan gifted me a car online. This thing is CLASSY! Thanks Dan - but be ready for a return gift.

UPDATE: this is the roof.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Torn up, Part 2

milkman said...
"Bajaja.
Oh BTW--I picked up an XBox Live Gold subscription. Online in 20 minutes? I'm tore up on wine."

You and me both brother!

Tonight I solute the good people of Bourgogne. They sure make a good wine.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Track day at Gingerman Raceway

I have two fullsized posters of the .:R GTI hanging in my living room. I love this car. Imagine my surprise when I showed up at the track day this morning and saw this!!!


I love Michigan...

Friday, July 13, 2007

Torn up

I tore apart the Rabbit's dash today. Why you might ask - why for a super stealth sirius radio install of course!

Now I have Sirius in the Corrado, the Rabbit, in the house (boom box thing), .. and really I have it at work to because I can stream it online!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Lower Rabbit & Cleaner Corrado

Just a bit of a photo update, I've had the Rabbit for almost a month now and I'm slowly finding out all kinds of neat stuff about it. For example, it's an '07 (but its a late model '07) and it has all the new interior features schedualed for '08. These include a different cruise control stock, "AC" written on the AC button instead of "ECON", cloth in the map compartments instead of rubber, and "optimal" (further apart) pedal spacing between the go/stop pedals.

Newly installed (before I even made the first payment) are clear side markers and H&R sport springs.


Having the Rabbit gives me the chance to take on longer more involving projects with the Corrado (prolonging them over a day or two as neccessary to keep up with my busy drinking and video game playing schedual). Here it is after a full buffing/resurfacing and wax:


I'll learn to take decent photos some day, I promise.

Boarder line out of the ordinary... maybe

While in the airport I bought a book form one of the terminal kiosks. My choices were limited to the new Steven King (only available in hard back, with the outer dimensions of a calculus text book), various romance novels with people hugging and/or ponies on the cover, science fiction aliens, history of World War 2, and a NY Times best seller by an author I haven’t heard of titled The Accidental – with an intriguing picture of a girl holding a video camera on the cover. I needed something to read during my nine hour lay-over and The Accidental seemed to be my best bet.

Now having finished the book (it really was quite good), I’m thinking I need to read more books outside of my usual domain; that being action, murder mystery, eastern thought, religious philosophy types.

I picked up a new book from Boarders titled Middlesex. It caught my attention because it had an s – e – x in the title. It looks to be another best seller and I’m really excited to get started with it. Check out the Time’s review, My Big Fat Greek Gender Identity Crisis, the book definitely has some potential on the out of the ordinary front.

Just in case I it gets a little too out side of my comfort zone I also picked up The Te of Piglet (which I’ve been meaning to read for some time now), the sequel to The Tao of Pooh (which I would highly recommend).

… and because it’s my blog, and I can do what ever I want here, here is an excerpt from The Tao of Pooh:
"Just How do you do it, Pooh?"
"Do What?" asked Pooh.
"Become so Effortless."
"I don't do much of anything," he said.
"But all those things of yours get done."
"They just sort of happen," he said"

And one more (from the cover) just for good measure:
"While Eeyore frets ...
... and Piglet hesitates
... and Rabbit calculates
... and Owl pontificates
...Pooh just is."

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Corporate “Seat-Savers”

My cubical walls are covered with post cards sent to me by my parents from their last visit to Colorado – one for every day they were there. These photos of mountain tops, ski areas, valleys, lakes, and narrow mountain roads take up the majority of my wall space. Also adorning my daily view is a trail map of the Mt Hood ski area, some pictures of old rusted pickup trucks set out in a field, an SCCA sticker (vintage 2002, circa my old Rabbit GTI racing days), and my “Corrado Classics 2007” calendar.

This is different from other cubicles/offices in the building, which typically include a poster of a Corvette and/or a 2-d wire drawing of a prototype part. The only thing my desk has in common with the others (and this is only recently) is a box filled with used diesel fuel soaked engine parts.

I purposely made the decision to decorate my cube so that it would appear occupied. I’m still the new guy here, with out a name plate, and when I pack up the lappy to go home at the end of the day the cube is essentially empty and appears un-occupied. This is a fast growing group that I’m in. Heck, Other New Guy (ONG) and I were two out of eight new hires that started June 1st. Thus by hanging things on the wall I’ve effectively made my claim in corporate “seat-savers.” This seat is taken, bitch!

ONG has not done this. His cube looks completely unoccupied when he’s out of the office. Today he was off for jury duty and I had someone ask me if this cube (his cube) was free. They asked in a way that didn’t make any sense though and it wasn’t until they’d left that I realized what the question was. So I’m guessing my response of, “uhhh, yeah” might not have been in ONG’s advantage. On a positive note it certainly would add some entertainment to his work day (he was complaining about being bored earlier this week) if he returns to find another new guy sitting in his cube. If you look at it that way – I’ve inadvertently done him a favor. You’re welcome ONG.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

All is right in the world again

Dude's windows are finally working again!

Monday, July 09, 2007

Hellish Swamp Conditions

Sometime after Justin left on Sunday the mercury started rising; fuckin 92 degrees outside right now, with little relief at night. It wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t 43% relative humidity.

So I’ve been lake-back/swamp-mustache all hard core these last two days. It sucks.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Justin is a lost ass motha fucka

This is is current route. the balloons marked with a pause symbol indicate his position when he called me for directional help.