FNMEs: Flatulent Non-Meat Eaters

Chelsie is a vegetarian; so are my parents; so am I (well mostly, ok not really at all, I would be if it weren’t so inconvenient at parties and restaurants). Vegetarians or as I like to call ‘em, Flatulent Non-Meat Eaters (and as abbreviated: FNMEs), are ahead of their time – soon after the nuclear winter that kills all the cows everyone will have to adapt to their diet of greens and veggie-yummies. So on the subject of FNMEs and their gas… I found these quotes on the web:

“I have a few vegetarian friends. Um, they tend to fart a lot.”

“I'm a vegetarian so farting is a way of life for me.”

That said and despite my personal experience, I haven’t been able to find any scientific evidence that suggests FNMEs fart more than meat eaters. In fact there is lots of evidence to the contrary; that vegetarians fart just as often as meat eaters. The truth it seems is that your flatulence is most contributed to the amount of intestinal enzymes that reside in your body and their activity.

Fermented food produces different types of fumes, some of which smell. Flatulence contains odorless gases, such as nitrogen, carbon dioxide, oxygen, and methane, but it also contains hydrogen sulfide, which causes the smell. If you have not noticed by now, some of the aforementioned fumes are flammable, like methane and oxygen, so if you didn’t see it on Myth Busters, there’s your proof - you can light your farts on fire.

So why do Chelsie’s farts smell like roses and mine smell like ass? How much odor is produced is the only part that depends on your diet. The gases from FNMEs do not tend to smell as much because vegetables produce less hydrogen sulfide.

That said there are always exceptions. Apples, apricots, beans, bran, broccoli, brussels sprouts, cauliflower, peaches, and soybeans are all on the list of things that make you smell.

If you’ve made it this far I’d like to apologize for a lack of a proper conclusion paragraph and recommend you check out the following links for additional (and some repeat) information on the subject of flatulence.

http://www.askmen.com/
http://www.howstuffworks.com/
http://www.gicare.com/
http://www.endlessadventures.com/