My Holly Pants

All of my pants have holes in them. It seems that the holes propagate in typical locations on both the front and back side of any pair. I’ve devised the following diagrams for purpose of illustration and explanation of the problem areas.
1. The Knees: This one’s not too hard to explain, what happens is the front around the knees tends to deteriorate slowly over the course of the pant lifetime. And then one day I bend wrong or sit down too quickly and my knee goes right through. The holes around the knees always start small and propagate into very large frilled looking gapping monsters. I currently have two pairs in standard wear rotation with holes in the knees. These are my least favorite type of holes.

2. Rear Left Side Above the Pocket: This is possible the most mysterious location for re-occurring holes. My only speculation as to why I get holes here are my slouched seating habits – I tend to sit more on my tailbone than on my butt. I currently have two pairs of pants and two pairs of boxers in standard wear rotation with holes in the rear left side above the pocket. I don’t mind these holes too much but try to make it a point not to wear both the pants and the boxers with holes in this location at the same time.

3. Rear Right Pocket: I always put my wallet in this pocket, and as a result of the number of maxed out credit cards I carry my wallet can be a little bulky sometimes. This is a pretty big problem because I don’t really feel comfortable wearing my wallet in another pocket and if the hole get to big I could potentially loose my wallet (and God forbid any one should try to use those credit cards – think of over draft fees!). I currently have two pairs in standard wear rotation with a hole in the back pocket, at this point however only one of them is large enough to loose a wallet.

4. Rear Heel Cuff: I used to think this looked cool and remember taking a file to a new pair of pants back in high school to simulate these types of holes. Now days however I need only wait a number of weeks for these things to start showing up. Currently almost all of my pants have damage in this area. The only time I really mind when damage happens to pants here is on my “dress” pants.